I recently stumbled upon this “Fake Geeky Girl” meme and damn, the sexism perseveres. Don’t get me wrong, I suppose there are “fake geeky girls” out there, who act like they are geeky and nerdy but in reality they don’t know what they’re talking about. But rather than the internet/society shaming them on this, why not help them actually speak articulately about it? It’s such a shame that a pretty girl can’t also be geeky/nerdy in male eyes. So that’s why I find it hilarious when my male counterpart’s jaws drop when I speak of geeky/nerdy subjects with such knowledge.
This hilarious encounter happens more frequently than I’d like to admit. Sometimes it is fun and empowering when this happens, and other times it’s a bit infuriating that I have this image of not knowing such things. Let me talk about a specific encounter I’ve had with a male, who I’d just met, regarding the infuriating feeling I had about “proving myself” to him. I was at a social event with friends and someone introduced me to this guy, I don’t remember exactly how we got onto the topic of what I do for a living but he found out that I’m a software developer and his eyes lit up and asked “REALLY?! You don’t look like you do that!” Then proceeds to ask me the question “Ok, if you’re a programmer then what does the colon mean when writing a for-loop?” Out of instinct I answered it, “The colon in a for-loop is used when iterating through objects that are in a list/array.” His jaw drops even more and says “WOW!! You really are a programmer!” Now, in retrospect this encounter infuriated me because I shouldn’t have had to prove anything to him. But I get this quite frequently, having to prove myself (this topic will come in another post).
Now, I’m not one to speak highly of myself but I do realize I’m a relatively “pretty” girl. I know how to wear makeup and dress like a “hot” girl. I’m social, I drink and do girly stuff. So, it constantly surprises men, and even women sometimes, when they see me and find out I’m nerdy/geeky, hence the whole “REALLY?! You don’t look like you do that!” comment.
The flip coin of this image is when I impress men by knowing my shit and this sense of “proving them wrong” sort of feeling encompasses me. Here’s a story for that one, I recently went to go see the new “Thor: Ragnarok” movie and there were moments when my friend would “mansplain” different parts of the movie, and I would interrupt him by finishing what he was going to say. Whenever that happened his eyes lit up and gave a similar response as above, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so geeky/nerdy…” Then as the movie went on I would say things that just further reiterated that response from him, “Omg I really am impressed by how much you do know about this stuff”. At one point he did do the whole “prove to me you do know this” shit by asking me “Ok, who lives in ‘177A Bleecker Street’?” I respond with “Dr. Strange” and yep there’s the response again. For some reason this encounter I find more hilarious because I don’t look like the type of girl who knows anything about comics.
Granted, I may not be much of a “gamer” but I know enough about it to still give a comment or two. But regardless of this, people are just constantly baffled by how I look so pretty and yet am into comics, tech-savvy and smart. I’ve previously gone on dates with guys who have stated the same responses as above and followed it up with “You’re intimidating” when I ask “why?” they say something along the lines of “Because you’re a rare breed of woman. You’re smart, successful and have these geeky tendencies, but you’re also really hot. I’ve never met any woman that looked like you and also did what you do.” As flattering as you may think it sounds, it actually would turn men away lol but it’s ok because obviously they weren’t worthy.
This is what I mean by breaking the stereotype of a techy/geeky/nerdy girl that can’t also be pretty. Although there may be infuriating moments, for the most part, I enjoy men looking at me and being impressed by my techy/geeky/nerdy tendencies. I feel like the more men that encounter women like me, the more we will break this stereotype. To show them that it is possible to be all female, while still enjoying things that most would think are only “for men”. And I don’t just mean that in a techy, comic book loving, etc sort-of way, I also mean that in a “I’m good at STEM, and I can be equal, if not better than, to you in areas that has persisted this ideology that it’s only for men”. I hope more people can stand up to the misogynistic statements that men can say about females like this and just tell them “Who are you to say she’s not?”