Hello blog!

It’s been nearly a year and a half since I’ve posted anything and boy has a lot occurred since my last post. Forgive the crude nature of the video above but, to be honest, it basically sums up how the majority of 2016 was for me. Don’t get me wrong, there were a handful of good moments in the year but, I’m not going to lie, I’m kinda glad the year is over.

So! What occurred? Well I suppose I should go in order lol

January

The year started out with having surgery on the 12th. Which went fine but uncomfortable after-effects lol. Soon after a few friends and I had our “annual Brian/Thao birthday” snowboarding trip, this year at Snowshoe. It was a great weekend, even though I wasn’t able to get into the hot-tub, it was fun to get away with our friends and snowboard. There was also a very pleasant surprise that happened during the trip, Carlo presented me with a lovely “gift” that caught me completely by surprise. The spring semester for classes also began, more on classes later.

February

The good: going on my yearly snowboarding trip with my Invertix coworkers. Bad: work was rather frustrating this month. The division of L3 that I was part of was acquired by CACI and the transition was abrupt and not coordinated well at all. They didn’t seem to consider the transition between L3’s benefits and moving over to CACI’s benefits. Also, everything happened so quickly (literally in one month) that making any decision to leave was not doable. There was a good four days at the beginning where people were without insurance because of having to sign-up on the first and getting everything worked out after that. Then waiting for the cards to get in, etc was a nightmare. They should have started the benefits process prior to closing because then people could have known what to sign up for, or just make the process a little quicker. Also, our original company (Data Tactics) that L3 had acquired (prior to CACI acquiring L3 NSS) was supposed to retain the same benefits that Data Tactics had promised wouldn’t change when L3 had acquired them. But once CACI came in all of that was out the window and CACI’s benefits were nowhere near up to par. I think this quick transition caused many employees to look elsewhere – at the time I was already in a “transition” with another company. This whole benefits debacle caused some problems later on though, I’ll get to that.

March

Carlo and I went to Miami for Ultra Music Festival in mid-March. That was a great trip – we were there for about a week and before the festival we rented a Harley and rode down to Key West for a day trip. This month was kinda straining on Carlo and my relationship though. Taking the trip was a memorable and good getaway for us, we got to work on a few things about our relationship. Oh God, I forgot that a very annoying thing happened this month too, my stupid ex’s “wife” decided to contact me out of nowhere. I suppose a little backstory on that whole thing, when he and I ended back in 2014 we still maintained contact as friends. He started his relationship with her soon after me and pretty much lied about everything regarding our relationship to her, as well as the fact he still talked to me. I knew she didn’t know, and I constantly scolded him about making the same mistakes over and over again, but he insisted that he shouldn’t tell her because she’s such a jealous person. Whatever, it wasn’t my place to reach out and tell her but I told him that if she were to contact me that I wouldn’t lie on his behalf. Well, she reached out and asked just that – funny enough, I was caught off guard with that phone call (females are like the FBI, we will find anything and everything out – she found my info on some document he had on his laptop lol) and as I was on the phone with her he messaged me warning me about it, asking me not to talk to her lol. Something she said that he said about me threw me over the edge and I told her what she wanted to know plus specific dates and more. She asked for proof, provided me her email address and I sent them. The following day I received an email from him calling me a liar and blah blah blah. So, I then proceeded to respond to him and copy her on all the proof and evidence that proved otherwise. His responses were so typical of him trying to cover his ass (I’ve seen this behavior from him before – when he was with me) – telling me that I fabricated all the proof I provided and that I had done this in the past (completely untrue lol). My final words to them were that I “rid my hands clean of this mess”, I’ve said all I needed to say and proved what I said to her, that I didn’t care if they continued their relationship or got a divorce and to leave me out of their relationship. That was the end of that era in my life lol (but that was an eventful few days).

April

This was a very bad month for me, sucks because it’s my birthday month too. Considering the debacle with my ex the previous month, Carlo and I got into a very heated fight about something similar on his end (smh). That situation didn’t help the fact I was already falling into a very bad depression. The depression proceeded to get worse and worse as the month went on, which ended in a horrible way but the silver-lining to that, I guess, is now I don’t take my anti-depressants for granted anymore! Carlo planned a surprise birthday outting with my friends, when I wasn’t expecting to see anyone but him that night 🙂 It was a fun evening. There were a couple weekends that month where I drank a little more than I should have lol.

May

Although I was able to get the help I needed to end April in an “okay” way, the aftermath of all the stresses and things that happened trickled into May. Because of the crappy insurance that CACI had I got hit by huge medical bills, I had to deal with the stresses of the end of the semester and finals, leaving my job, fighting with Carlo, etc. A lot of good things happened this month though; I started my new job and a few of my friends graduated so I got to see them walk. Carlo and I discussed several gripes I had with our relationship and this was the start of him working on it. May was the beginning and the end of various things.

June

Not too much happened in June, from what I can remember. I went to EDC in Las Vegas that month. I was originally supposed to go with Carlo but because of his job I went with my brother instead. It was a lot of fun, very exhausting though – the festival was from 6pm to 6am, then day parties and going out during the day. I was a month into my new job and it was a rough start. I realized how complex the code base was and I was still getting used to their processes. This contract is so different from any other software development work I’ve ever worked on. I really like the work and how challenging it is.

July

July was an interesting month where I started questioning my relationships with various friends. It started with a conversation with Krisel regarding her bachelorette party in Charleston at the end of that month. Her sister complained to her how she didn’t feel like any of her bridesmaids were helping much with the bachelorette getaway. Krisel proceeds to message me and Stephanie because Dhaakira already backed out. I guess her sister’s incessant bitching got in her head and she starts bitching at us about our efforts in her wedding. What annoyed me the most about that situation was that she only had the opinion of her sister and, before going off on us, she should should have calmly talked to us about her concerns. But instead it happened differently and the conversation put a sour taste in my mouth from that moment to the actual trip. She had the audacity to ask me “what I had done for the weekend” all because I didn’t respond to her sister’s emails about confirming events for the weekend. But her sister just completely took for granted the fact that all the earlier emails she sent out, I was the ONLY bridesmaid that was responding. I was a bit behind on my emails that week, because I don’t get on it as much at work and was swamped that week, but I was already handling the bachelorette “goodie gifts” and games. So, the fact that she asked me that question, in such a manner of attacking me, I was so angry at how ungrateful and easily swayed she was. This resentment continued going into the trip. I put on a face and tried to be all “happy happy joy joy” but I was irritated being there. I felt like I couldn’t relate to her or them, the conversations they would have were about topics, most girls would know about, but I just didn’t know anything about – fitness blogs, celebrity gossip, etc. My friendship with the “besties” weren’t the only thing I was questioning a bit. I also started questioning how my other girlfriends really thought of me. At some point a couple of the girls had a little heart-to-heart with Carlo about our fighting, my past relationships and fighting, and their opinion of me and our relationship. He revealed this information in the middle of a fight – basically saying that he’s not the only one that thinks I’m “crazy” and “they didn’t know how he deals with me”. I don’t know if this was entirely true because I never brought it up with them, I was a bit hurt though because I don’t blame them for saying that considering they’ve seen how I fight with both my ex and with Carlo. I felt a bit alone that month… I didn’t really know who to talk.

August

The issues I had with Krisel trickled into this month. We talked shortly after Charleston and I had a list of gripes I was ready to discuss with her. I honestly thought that after the conversation that our friendship would be done. I didn’t expect to get emotional but I expressed to her some things I hadn’t mentioned about opinions of her and her family – it just hit me harder than I thought when I spoke to her. We managed to patch things up though. Nathan’s birthday was also this month and the family took a little getaway to Virginia Beach – Carlo and I just went for a day but it was great for him and I to spend the time with my family. My sister went off to college at the end of that month and Carlo and I helped her move in. It was a little emotional because I worried about how she would do being away from us and her condition.

September

Not too much happened this month from what I can remember. I was getting a bit overwhelmed at work and there was a day where I was so upset with myself about not being able to grasp the work and code base quick enough. I was being so hard on myself and I was so paranoid that day. I felt like my coworkers were whispering about me and my knowledge regarding software development and my ability to do the work. At one point I had to step out because I was about to break down crying with how upset I was. I’m always so hard on myself but I’ve never felt that paranoid before.

October

I can’t remember much about this month other than Carlo’s birthday, Carlo’s friend’s wedding, and Halloween. Carlo’s birthday was more low-key this year – no trip to Las Vegas, sadly lol – but just dinner with his family. Him and I had been pretty rocky the past few months and the fights weren’t getting much better…

November

The NES Classic Mini was released this month and I couldn’t get hold of one – it was sold out everywhere. So, I picked up a new little project to create a retro gaming “console” from a Raspberry Pi and used an emulator. I was glad to start a project because I felt like I wasn’t doing much with myself after work. I still need to finish the controller issues I was having with it, and configure the Kodi media system to work right lol. November to continue be a rocky month between Carlo and I. It started becoming more and more apparent how straining the relationship was becoming for the both of us.

December

Oh the holiday season. I usually love the holiday season, Nhi and I didn’t even bother putting up the Christmas tree in our apartment so I didn’t feel very festive this season. I was also more financially strained this year, so buying Christmas gifts were harder than other years. It was so stressful timing when various secret Santa Christmas parties were happening with when my pay day would be so I could get presents for them in time. It turned out to be a very amazing Christmas though. In my complete surprise, Carlo proposed to me on Christmas day. He colluded with my family at our Christmas dinner and they became part of the proposal. It was so touching to have them be part of it and I was ecstatic that he proposed. The reason I was so shocked by it was because of how much we had been arguing.. but I didn’t even hesitate in saying “yes”. I really do love him. I couldn’t even let it sink in because I needed to focus on the fact we were leaving for the Philippines, for Krisel’s wedding, shortly after New Years.

Well, those were the “major” events of 2016. I dealt with a lot of stresses – with relationships, finances, school, and health. But I managed to get thru it and I learned a lot.