{"id":49,"date":"2015-12-17T12:12:23","date_gmt":"2015-12-17T17:12:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/?p=49"},"modified":"2019-05-24T23:21:57","modified_gmt":"2019-05-25T03:21:57","slug":"growing-apart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/growing-apart\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Apart"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style><p>They say you aren&#8217;t growing if you aren&#8217;t losing friends. I&#8217;m realizing the truth in that statement more and more every day. You can know someone for 10 years and once consider them your best friend then grow apart or know someone for 6 months and become so close.<\/p>\n<p>I realized in the past year how different my best friend&#8217;s and I really are. I&#8217;m just not like them. They are more homebodies, introverted, and different. I&#8217;m more extroverted, social, and insane. My lifestyle is just different from theirs.\u00a0I prefer to go out and drink, party, socialize, date, make friends, try new things, etc. We don&#8217;t even &#8220;hang out&#8221; we always grab dinner or brunch which is what you do with acquaintances, not best friends. I feel like they&#8217;re so used to their ways that they don&#8217;t know how to get out of their comfort zone. They have different music taste than I do, their dating mannerisms are different than what I would do, our study fields are different too. I&#8217;m finding less and less in common with them other than the amount of years we&#8217;ve known each other. But sometimes that isn&#8217;t enough to hold a friendship together.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m\u00a0constantly getting so annoyed with them and their topics of conversation. We try to keep in touch via group texts as much as we can, but I&#8217;m finding less and less to contribute to the conversation, or even caring to.\u00a0I don&#8217;t even bother to tell them about big things in my life anymore because it&#8217;s either they judge or it just doesn&#8217;t seem like they really care or understand. We make small talk that I feel like &#8220;friends&#8221; make with one another who haven&#8217;t seen each other in a few months, not how &#8220;best friends&#8221; are supposed to feel like. They&#8217;ve become more acquaintances than &#8220;best friends&#8221;. Or just people I used to consider that.<\/p>\n<p>Before I couldn&#8217;t see myself not turning to them for advice or big moments in my life. But now I&#8217;m realizing that they judge me for the things I do instead of support me. I can&#8217;t be open to tell them things anymore because of the judgement or the defensiveness they get. It&#8217;s like if I don&#8217;t follow suit on what they&#8217;re saying or doing then they get defensive because they don&#8217;t understand why I&#8217;m saying or doing the things I do. They are honestly the most judgemental people I know, as much as they don&#8217;t see it, they are. I try to do as much as I can for them, whether it&#8217;s giving advice, listening to them, planning and booking trips for all of us to be together, etc and not be judgemental of what they tell me. I try to support them even if I don&#8217;t agree. But they just don&#8217;t reciprocate the same behavior. I appreciate everything that they&#8217;ve done for me in the past, but I&#8217;ve outgrown them and realize it might be time to separate myself from them (over time, it&#8217;s going to be a slow process).<\/p>\n<p>Which brings me to my new set of friends that I&#8217;ve only known for the past 4 years. Our lifestyle is very much alike, we party, drink, do fun things, hang out, etc. We see each other basically every day, they come over or vice versa. We go out, or stay in to watch football, or have parties (either out or at the house), etc. It seems like they&#8217;re just more similar to me as well, like with the things they&#8217;ve done or experienced.\u00a0I can tell them anything and they don&#8217;t judge me for it and actually give me real advice that I can use. I&#8217;m finding myself turning to them more and more for problems and special moments. We&#8217;ve all become a close group of friends and they&#8217;ve become more of my best friends in recent years then my other group of friends have been. I love them like sisters, and I\u00a0can see a friendship with them lasting for years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>They say you aren&#8217;t growing if you aren&#8217;t losing friends. I&#8217;m realizing the truth in that statement more and more every day. You can know someone for 10 years and once consider them your best friend then grow apart or know someone for 6 months and become so close. I realized in the past year&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":50,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[14,13,15],"class_list":["post-49","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends","tag-best-friends","tag-friends","tag-gnos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":224,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions\/224"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.reginedeguzman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}